October 24, 2005

Timestravel

Civility

By Michael Cleary
Times Columnist

I’ve been thinking about the significant role civility plays not only in our everyday lives, but also when we travel.

Pebble Beach—great tournaments and unforgettable golf at $425 a round.

I am reminded of its importance every time we take one of our favorite walks. There’s a middle school we pass that has painted on one of its walls in large letters Gandhi’s inspiring message: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” As I dearly wish to live in a more civil world, these words are a constant reminder that it starts with me.

Obviously, others share my wish. Our local paper just carried a story about “Promote Respect Week.” Back in January, school and community representatives began meeting to create a coalition to foster civility, compassion and respect in our fair city.

The result was a series of week-long programs and events designed to heighten awareness of these three basic ingredients for any well-mannered society. For good measure, they also threw some other virtues into the mix including responsibility, empathy, sportsmanship, patience, care and trust.

I read about Respect Week after returning from doing a broadcast at a golf tournament at Pebble Beach where, coincidentally, these same values were just as popular a conversation topic as Hale Irwin’s mastery of the short game, Jim Dent’s long drives or the unbelievable beauty of Pebble.

Let me tell you a bit about this entertaining Labor Day event called The First Tee Open. If you’re a golf fan, you just might want to make plans to be in the gallery for next year’s tournament, which brings the over-50 PGA pros to the Monterey Peninsula.

This particular Champions’ tour stop is unlike any other. Here, each pro is paired with a young amateur for a week of golf at Pebble Beach and Old Del Monte.

The participating youngsters earned their invitations to play through their involvement with The First Tee, www.thefirsttee.org, a nationwide organization that provides learning facilities and educational programs that promote character development and life enhancing values through the game of golf.

Each July, 30 boys and girls are selected to play based on their life skills’ comprehension as well as their golf game. They come from all over the country and from all sorts of backgrounds. Each is an amazing story.

Watching Arnold Palmer, the living history of golf, and, let’s say, a talented 15-year-old who represents the future of the game—standing together on a fairway at Pebble Beach deciding what their second shot should be—is a sight to behold. The pros love it and you can imagine how these young people feel.

The bedrock of this organization is their “Nine Core Values.” Instructors at The First Tee spend as much time on honesty, integrity, sportsmanship, respect, confidence, responsibility, perseverance, courtesy and judgment as they do on putting and the importance of the short game.

While the target audience for this kind of moral instruction is youngsters, I found a lot of it rubbed off on me. Operating on the premise that we’re never too old to review the basics and mindful of wanting to be “the change I want to see,” I discovered that if I give myself a refresher course on civility and manners before we hit the road and—here’s the most important part—put it to daily use, everybody benefits.

I become a better travel companion. And, as Martha Stewart is fond of saying: “This is a good thing.” Just ask Mary Ann.

I also learned that I am much better off. A civil manner comes equipped with patience, and that does wonders as a stress reducer, which is so important when dealing with the often unpredictable nature of travel. Nothing like a late flight, missing hotel reservation or lost bag to put all my training to work.

So, golfers, if you want to see a great tournament, make plans to be at Pebble Beach next Labor Day. And, if you are thinking of putting a Monterey getaway on the calendar with golf at Pebble Beach as part of the plan, remember to bring along your clubs and your nine core values.

Oh, and don’t forget the small matter of $425 to pay for the round. Cheers.