October 22, 2004

Family tragedy compounded by INS issues

Marina Pappas, 38, leaves behind three little girls

By Jeanne C. Lewis
Staff Writer

On April 23, the life of Evergreen resident Peter Pappas changed forever. His loving wife of 14 years, Marina, succumbed to a brain aneurysm after being in a coma for five days following the birth of their third child, Isabella.

From left, Marina Pappas, Christina Popoti and Christina Pappas on Emma’s first birthday. It is the last picture of Marina with Christina and Emma. Isabella was born eight days later. Photo courtesy of the Pappas family

Marina never held Isabella, who like her other two children, was born premature. Marina died as she had lived, surrounded by family and friends, the things most important to her. She was only 38 years old.

Peter was left to raise his three children alone. There is 2 1/2-year-old Christina, 1-year-old Emma and new baby Isabella, who spent the first seven weeks of her life in the neonatal intensive care unit at Stanford’s Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital suffering from hydrops fetalis [fluid buildup].

Peter’s mother-in-law, Christina Popoti, who arrived from Greece to be with Marina through all her high-risk pregnancies, never dreamed that these would be the last days with her daughter. Marina’s sister, Panagiota “Yiouli” Popoti, also flew in as soon as she heard of Marina’s death. Both women were on a tourist visa for six months.

Desire for family outweighs fear of risks
Marina Pappas’ desire for a family overshadowed her high-risk medical conditions. She had suffered from kidney problems since she was a young girl growing up in Greece. High blood pressure increased the risk to her pregnancies.

Difficulty in conceiving resulted in her enduring a surgery to mend scar tissue and visits to fertility specialists to conceive their first two children. All three pregnancies were fraught with bed-rest, continual monitoring, hospital visits, cramps and bleeding. The three children were all premature and spent months in the hospital. With the surprise of the third pregnancy by no artificial means, Marina was prescribed complete bed rest during the pregnancy.

“Marina’s health was a big concern,” commented Pappas in the living room his wife had classically decorated in fine silks and brocades. Holding his oldest child, Christina, he continued, “But Marina wanted children so badly; if she had to be in bed the whole time, that is what she’d do. The thought of not going through with it never entered her mind.”

In October 2003, Peter was laid off from his job as senior director of software engineering at Alloptic in Livermore. The couple was planning to hire a nanny to help Marina care for her two girls during the pregnancy. But instead, Peter became a stay-at-home father.

“In many ways it was a blessing,” Peter remarked, eyes tearing, thinking back to early last fall. “Forget about hiring a nanny. I’ll be a stay-at-home dad for a while. The job market was slow. I didn’t know at the time; it would be the best time of my life. I got to spend the last six months of Marina’s life with her.”

Coming to America
The attractive, dark-haired Marina came to America from Greece as an exchange student her senior year of high school. She returned again to attend St. Joseph’s College to study psychology and later received her MBA from the University of Hartford.

Marina’s first cousin was married to Peter’s youngest brother and the couple was introduced at a 1988 family Thanksgiving celebration in Boston. They nurtured their relationship long distance, and one year later they became engaged, marrying in 1990.

They moved to Framingham, Mass., where Peter, had purchased a home. Two years later, they built a house on a rural acre as job promotions continued his upward climb in computer technology. And they tried to have children.

In 1997, a job offer in San Jose brought Peter to the West; Marina stayed east to sell their home. She joined him and a year later, they bought a house in the Evergreen area. In 2001, with the assistance of medical science, they fulfilled their dream of starting a family with Christina’s birth. Two years later, Emma was born. Marina became pregnant again with Isabella in 2003, six months after giving birth to Emma.

Marina Pappas with Isabella five days after she was born eight weeks premature. It is the last photograph of Marina taken. Photo courtesy of the Pappas family

“Marina always looked at everything positive,” Nathalie Goricanec shared about her close friend and fellow Las Madres Neighborhood playgroups member. “She thought she’d never conceive, but kept trying. She had great style and was always well dressed and groomed. She decorated her home and the children’s rooms. She loved art and studied Christian scripture. She was a good mother and a great woman. I miss her.”

“Marina was the church secretary so I got to know her very well,” said Father Konstantine Mendrinos of St. Basil Greek Orthodox Church in Almaden. “She studied theology and had a very good understanding of Holy Scripture and life.

Her library rivaled mine. She was always happy and loved California—it was so much like Greece. As she had no relatives here, the church became her family. Her sensitivities brought her to think of the mortality of life, even for one so young. She was very spiritual.”

Immigration problems
Marina’s mother, Christina, speaks no English. She applied for a tourist visa for the many visits she made to assist her daughter with the pregnancies and the children. Because of Marina’s death, Peter requested extensions for his mother-in-law and sister-in-law to assist with the children.

Baby Isabella may require a biopsy performed due to lesions recently detected in her liver. The spots may be similar to the benign hamangioma on her right eyelid or they may be malignant tumors. The visa extensions were denied even with an additional letter of explanation substantiating the family’s desperate need for help.

Peter called Immigration and received no answers. Frustrated, he contacted Senators Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein, Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren and the Greek Consulate in San Francisco. A parishioner at St. Basil Greek Orthodox Church knew Congresswoman Lofgren and contacted her personally. Peter also hired an immigration attorney.

“Why do you have to go through this?” Peter remarked about the bureaucracy he encountered. “The fact is that I have no recourse as an individual without getting congressional help. You can’t talk to anyone at immigration service. There’s something wrong with that. What are you paying the $195 filing fee for?”

Peter received calls back from the dignitaries’ offices, but it was Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren who made a phone call from the Congressional floor to a director at Immigration Services and received an approval for his mother-in-law’s extension.

Two mistakes held up the original document. Because his mother-in-law and sister-in-law came into the country on different dates, two separate extension forms should have been filed. The total amount of time either of them could stay in the country was 12 months, and the extension requested was for a few days beyond that.

“I’m glad the rules were followed,” Congresswoman Lofgren stated in a phone interview. “Just a mistake was made. I called personally, and I’m glad the family can step in and help each other. Anything the community can do to assist the family would help. We’re the kind of community that cares.”

Las Madres steps in to help
Marina Pappas had been a member of Las Madres Neighborhood Playgroups Evergreen since 2001. The nonprofit benefit organization’s mission is for the support and education of young children and their caregivers.

After Marina died, Las Madres Evergreen supported the Pappas family, providing meals and care for her children while Peter planned her burial and oversaw Isabella’s recovery in neonatal intensive care. The group also contacted elected officials regarding the immigration dilemma with Marina’s mother and sister.

“The story of the repeated heartbreak of the Pappas family is a tragedy,” Vice Mayor Pat Dando commented in a phone interview. “I know we need to have laws and regulations, but the INS needs to be sensitive to each case and use common sense and have a heart. After Las Madres contacted my office, I put a call into Congresswoman Lofgren who acted quickly. My heart goes out to the Pappas family, and they are in my prayers.”

Thanks to everyone’s efforts, Peter recently received the certificates from the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services office, approving both extensions for his mother-in-law and his sister-in-law.

Now Peter can devote his time to his primary priority, which is to take care of his children and decide the course of treatment for baby Isabella. He hopes to find employment by the end of the year and then find appropriate care for his children.

But foremost in his mind is Marina and keeping her memory alive for the children.

A donation fund has been established by Las Madres Neighborhood Playgroups, Inc. to help the family. Visit any Washington Mutual branch to deposit a donation into the Pappas Children’s Memorial Fund, account number 0953283993 or ask for the Pappas benevolent account. For further information, contact Nathalie Goricanec at pappasfund@lasmadres.org.