August 12, 2005

Evergreen parents struggle to move forward after death of children

Andre and Modestine Hunt appreciate community support

By Bea Baechle
Editor

They sat quietly, grief-stricken, in their living room, looking for the words to express the kaleidoscope of feelings that swirled in their hearts—inexplicable sorrow and loss, appreciation for the support and uncertainty about the future.

Torrienne and Tristine Hunt

Andre and Modestine Hunt are the parents of Torrienne and Tristine Hunt, two teenagers who perished in a severe car accident on a trip to New Mexico.

The family was on their way to take a look at the University of Mexico for Torrienne, who had just graduated from Evergreen Valley High School, when they hit a median. The car rolled, and Torrienne, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, died instantly on July 1.

It appeared that Tristine, sitting in the back seat with Andre, would initially pull through, but two days later, she took a turn for the worse in the hospital and died on July 3.

“We were in the hospital for two weeks—we had to deal with the aspect of being in the hospital before we could even come to grips with what was going on with the kids,” said Andre, whose rotator cuff on his left arm is destroyed and will require surgery. He also has a broken hand. Modestine broke some ribs and her arm in four places.

“I was never fearful that I was going to die—only for Modestine and the kids,” he said.

Children taught them much
“It’s been a whirlwind, but I’m confident that God won’t give me more than I can handle,” he continued. “We’ll get whole—but it’s going to take us a while. We’re just trying to focus on the kids, who they were, and how proud we are of them. We feel blessed to have had them for the short time that we did in our lives, and we’ve been enriched as a result of having had them in our lives.”

“They taught us so many things, and one of the most important things I wanted to say to them is, ‘Thank you for choosing me to be their mother, because they could have chosen anybody, but they chose me,” said Modestine, overcome with emotion.

“They taught me what relationships should be about,” said Modestine. Andre said they taught him about how to be patient, and that Torrienne taught him a lot about fortitude—just keeping his nose to the grindstone.

“They taught me how to be a parent,” added Andre. “They loved me, despite of myself. Because I’m heavily involved with work and the community, at times I felt that I could have given them more of my time. But they never let that interfere with our relationship.”

He recalls joking, playing and laughing together with them, even as teenagers. “They taught me about the joy of living, of not letting things get to you and not letting anyone steal your joy,” said Andre.

He added that Tristine, who would have been a junior at EVHS this fall, taught him about priorities. “Tristine had a beautiful way of not allowing anybody else to establish her priorities … which helped me to better shape my priorities,” said Andre.

“She was really focused. We never had to tell her to study or do her homework. She had such a sharp intellect, and she was just really starting to blossom. It seems like such a shame that she really will never get the opportunity to follow her dreams,” he said.

“Her potential was unlimited,” added Modestine, noting her many interests outside of school, from music to drama to art. She recalls that unlike Torrienne, who was much more outwardly social, in part to compensate for his dyslexia.

“Tristine was social in her own way. She was much more quiet about it.”

“We miss these kids—desperately,” added Andre, as a tear rolled down his cheek. “I can’t tell you how much I miss them.”

“We miss everything about them,” added Modestine.

Gratitude for the support
“I’m thankful to the community as a whole for the outpouring of support,” said Andre, a real estate broker who founded local Pop Warner and National Junior Basketball programs in Blossom Valley.

He described neighbors preparing meals, the Evergreen Valley High School staff opening up the school for three separate memorial services, and the entire Evergreen community for bringing cards and flowers and a sincere desire to assist and support them in any possible way to ease the difficulties they had to face—even when they didn’t know exactly what to say in these tender moments.

“Without the community’s support, I think it would have been much more difficult than it has been. A lot of times people just give lip service to that, but truly, the people in this community have stepped up and not only talked the talk, but walked the walk, and I’m thankful for that,” said Andre.

“I’d also like the community to know that one of the things that has sustained me through this whole ordeal is my trust in God … despite the difficulties and circumstances that we’ve been under, He has blessed us and continues to bless us—despite the loss of our kids, the accident and all of the injuries,” he continued.

“Out of all of this, a lot of good will come. You never know how your children are perceived in the neighborhood. When you send your kids out in the community, you never know how they represent you, but it’s obvious from all of the different things that have happened over the last month or so that our kids really reflected the values and the training and the types of things we talked about at the dinner table or just hanging out together. I’m glad to know that not only were they loved inside these walls, but they were loved outside these walls as well.”

Andre encourages the community to not only be supportive of them, but to be supportive of other people facing adversity every day, and to continue to support each other and pull each other through it.

Modestine added, “I also want to thank the Evergreen Times for writing a story about my kids and who they were. They grew up in this community—they went to Quimby Oak, Chaboya, then Evergreen—it was important that the kids who they grew up with could say good-bye,” said Modestine.

“They were good kids—they weren’t angels and they weren’t perfect, but they were good kids. They had a lot of love and gave us a lot of respect, and for the most part, they were very obedient—they weren’t automatons—they didn’t do everything we asked, but they never gave us a reason to feel ashamed or disappointed with them,” recalled Andre.

“Our son Torrienne overcame a lot of challenges, but he never complained,” said Modestine.

“No matter what negative things happened to him, he never let it impact his personality, he never let it change the root-core of who he was,” added Andre. “He always looked out for the interest of others.”

They were best friends and both shared a very close relationship with their older brother, 24-year-old Toussaint. “It’s wonderful to remember what good friends they were and the type of relationships they had with each other, their mother and with me,” he said.

“Probably the most difficult thing is to not hearing the sound of their voices resonating in this house,” said Andre, noting that they had bought the house to give them more space as well as the opportunity to attend Evergreen Valley.

Next steps
When asked if they plan to remain in the house, Andre and Modestine expect that they probably will move—the memories there are too great. They said they need to come to peace with the situation first and then try to make a really sound decision.

“The other difficult thing is just figuring out what to do,” said Andre. “So much of what we planned for the future was on the basis of our three kids—of watching them grow up, helping them stretch out and be the people they wanted to be, going to college, having grandkids. So much of it was based on what was going to happen in their lives.

“It’s difficult at times, but I think we’re bound and determined to try to get our bodies healed, and to deal with the emotional impact of losing our kids,” said Andre.

In their loss, Andre and Modestine encourage all parents to not get so caught up in the things your kids are doing wrong. Rather, to validate their positive traits and to give them an opportunity to express themselves and allow them to be who they are.

“You always think your kids will be around, but life can be short,” concluded Andre. “One thing is certain, my kids knew that they were loved. There was never a question about that.”